Mar 04 2010
I’m Giving Up Bridge
I’m giving up bridge – tonight’s my last night
It’s Amen to Stayman, i give up the fight.
The insults and muddles are giving me troubles.
And I can’t sleep at night for thinking of doubles.
So for now it’s all over – I’m off to the backwood
I’m bidding goodbye to Gerber and Blackwood.
I can’t stand the hassle, I can’t stand the pain
I’m getting those bad cards again and again.
I’m giving up bridge – tonight’s a bad night
Declarer is horrid and nothing’s gone right.
My partner’s a dope and I’m losing all hope
And when she says “double”, I know we’re in trouble.
My points are not high and I’m wondering why
She kept on bidding right up to the sky.
We’re in seven spades and all my hope fades
When surprise, surprise her high bidding pays
We’re winning all tricks; the defenders feel sick
And I have to admit my partner’s a brick.
But I’m giving up bridge – tonight’s my last night
Farewell to conventions – I give up the fight!
So I leave with few words but some that are true,
Bridge is a game not for me but for you.
So be kind to your partners and don’t mind their cheek
For it’s only a game – oh! and see you next week.
From the Anonymous Internet