AudreyPodrey.com

Dear Girl-Who-Tried-To-Ask-Me-Work-Questions-In-the-Locker-Room,

Just because we attend the same aerobics class and sweat together and you see me in the locker room does NOT give you permission to talk to me about work stuff.  When I go to the gym, it is all about ME.  It’s stress relief.  And while you may be surprised to learn it, you are a source of stress!  Yes, you!  So if you are going to talk to me, be a good girl and talk about the weather or your glutes or some other drivel but you are not allowed to talk to me about work!

Love,
podrey

Dear Guy-Who-Sent-An-UnUnderstandable-Email,

I’m so glad that i am not the only one who forgets to proofread email messages.  You sent an email that kept referring to a “he” and no one had any idea what or who you meant.  Thank you for making me feel normal, because i do this all the time.

Thanks!
podrey

I have an awkward ex-manager who i see infrequently.  He and i never really clicked, and i never truly was comfortable around him.  For example, i’d be trying to talk to him about some work-related thing, but he just wanted to make jokes all the time.  And sometimes i wouldn’t get them.  Whatever.  That’s behind me now.

I was with a friend in the cafe last week.  We walked in past the rows of tables where people were eating.  Ex-Manager was there.  I said something friendly yet mundane as we passed him, like “Hi, how are you doing?”  His response was, “I was fine, until i saw you’ve cut your hair.”

Um… thanks?  That was our entire exchange.  I’m sure i was supposed to infer that he was kidding and not be offended.  And i’m not.  But it’s at moments like that where i wish i had a camera to look at, like Jim Halpert is always doing.

How NOT to Network

I used to work with someone.  She was quirky, but pleasant enough.  She trained me in one area, and i learned a lot from her.  We were in touch off and on for the years after that, but for the most part, i felt the conversation was generally All About Her whenever i saw her.

She was terminated last year.  Fast forward to now, and there are a few job openings in my group.  Just this week.  She has applied for one, and sent me an email.  It contained one line asking about me and Lance, but it wasn’t really personal and seemed disinterested and/or obligatory.  The real meat of the message was a significantly longer paragraph about her needs, asking me to personally hand her resume to the hiring (my) manager.

First of all, i’ll just say i think it’s bizarre to apply for jobs at a company that has terminated you.  Being laid off is one thing, but this seems a different scenario.

But ignoring that, i am not keen to give an endorsement.  I did learn quite a bit from her in our early days of working together, but some later work experiences were not as positive. I’m sensitive to the economy and how people need help, and it often helps to have an inside person vouching for you.  But she’s not networking very well.  She hasn’t made me want to help her.  When all our previous encounters were all about her, i can’t help but thinking “oh now that you want something, now you ask about Lance?”

It’s an emotional response, i’ll admit.  And i did end up talking to my manager about her.  I gave positives and negatives.

How to Do It Right

I used to work with a guy i’ll call P.  Around the same time i worked with the woman above.  He was a nice guy, and we eventually became friends, if just casual work friends.  We bonded most while discussing our respective casino trips - i would go to play NL HoldEm, and he goes with his dad and plays Pai Gow the whole time.

I have a vague memory of a difficult time working with him, but i can’t remember exactly what it was.  The rest was positive.

It’s been years since we worked together, but I still hear from P about three times per year.   Twice randomly, and once when it’s time for NCAA basketball brackets to be filled out.  He does it right.  He sends me a couple pictures of his kid, asks about several things he knows i have going on in my life, and tells me a little news about himself.  And he always mentions casinos and poker.  He keys in on that common interest we had.  Even though neither of us has been to a casino in more than two years, it’s something to re-establish the connection.  We’ll have a thread a few emails long each time while we briefly catch up, and then half a year will pass and he’ll do it again.

The self-absorbed side of me thinks that i’m just that cool, that he wants to stay in touch.  But the more realistic side of me thinks, wow, this dude knows how to network.  I’m probably one of several people he does this with.  He might have a reminder set every six months, and he emails the people on his networking list.  It’s smart.  He’s networking before he needs it, and maintaining relationships that may help him in the future.  I am in awe of it, and i tell myself i should do that too, but i don’t follow through.

I like P.  If he hadn’t stayed in touch with me, i’m sure i’d remember him, but only vaguely.  I’d remember the guy who i talked about casino trips with, but i might also remember the difficult work experience.  And if he asked me out of the blue to endorse his resume?  I’d likely feel similarly to the situation above.  As things are, if P asked me to put in a good word for him, i would.  He’s made me want to help him, if he ever needs it.  I haven’t worked with him in years, but he’s maintained that connection.

The thing is, i don’t think he’ll need my help.

Women are funny.

There is a bizarre unspoken Etiquette of the Bathroom at my workplace: if more than one person is in the bathroom, anonymity is maintained.

Woman A goes into a stall.  Woman B comes in a few moments later.  Whomever finishes first, say Woman A, will flush and exit the stall to wash her hands.  Woman B will not emerge until she hears the Woman A exit the bathroom.

As it happens, yesterday i was Woman B and entered the bathroom second.  But i finished first.  As i was washing my hands, i noticed Woman A’s feet were both turned to the side instead of facing forward.  My interpretation of this is that she was standing there, waiting for me to exit, before she flushed and came out herself.

Maintaining anonymity.

Of course, not everyone is like this.  There are folks who try to learn everyone’s shoes, and will then speak to you from the stall.  Personally i prefer to follow a strict no-talking-while-peeing rule.  If you are in a stall, or if i am, i don’t want to talk.  We can talk at the sink or outside the bathroom, but please, let me pee in peace.

It’s a strange place, the bathroom.

A few things have presented themselves loudly in the past few days that make me really grateful that i chose to leave my old group at the time i did.  There are a few other things about my new job that are just awesome all by themselves.  I just want to share a few things that have occurred to me lately.

• I no longer have to deal with the zOS operating system. Hurray!
• I didn’t have to login from home and work on my snow day.  There was a constant feeling of playing catch-up in the old position, and i saw quite a few emails from my former group members on the snow day indicating they had worked for a good portion of the day.
• The old division has been completely re-orged.  Re-orgs are common in the corporate world, but there is always a lot of uncertainty in the midst of one.
• I’m going to get to use my statistics degree.  I need to brush up on a few things, but i’m looking forward to that part.
• I get a shiny new Mac.  This software releases on Mac, Windows and Linux only.
• I get to work with my mentor.
• I click really well with my new manager.  I liked my ex-manager well enough, but i often felt like we didn’t quite “get” each other.
• There will be opportunities to meet real customers, and that’s a side of business i am definitely interested in.

I have only been here a few days, but i’m more excited about it every day.

I’ve always thought to myself that i will really be an adult when i no longer look forward to snow days.  If i hear about a possible storm coming and think i hope it misses us.

I must still be a kid, because when i heard there was a surprise formation of clouds that was going to dump snow on our area, all i could think was, YAY!  I was hoping all day yesterday, trying at the same time not to get those hopes up too high, that it would snow enough to get us out of work.  I had a dream about waking up in the morning, and seeing only a light dusting and having to go to work, but i slid into a ditch on the way there.  I had another dream that i woke up and looked out the window and there was no snow at all.

Then i actually woke up, and the bedroom had that luminous quality that can only come from light reflecting off of lots and lots of snow.  YAY!

The coolest part about being at home today, is that we can watch the inauguration of Barack Obama.  Echoing many sentiments i’ve heard and seen in other blogs, it is just extremely awesome the progress this country had made.  I’m proud to be an American today.

What does it say about me that i think it would be cool to be the person who organized the inauguration event and all the behind-the-scenes stuff that had to happen?

Saturday night Lance and i got all gussied up and went to the winter party hosted by my company.  It’s utter chaos, but it’s sorta fun.  I like watching all the people walk by in their fancy clothes.

There were hundreds and hundreds of people there.  I saw exactly one person that i knew - my ex-manager.  The one who has been my ex-manager for less than a week.  Yeah, that wasn’t awkward at all.

This photo was the one we took in our kitchen before we left, but we also stood in line at the party and got our picture taken by the professional guy who was set up at the party.  I hope it turns out well.  Having the fancy picture taken was the primary goal for the evening.

Lance was pretty overwhelmed by all the people.  And i don’t blame him - it was definitely chatoic, and big crowds aren’t really his thing.  They aren’t really my thing either, but something about this party makes me want to go and try to have a good time.  If i go again next year i might take a party girl with me who can show me how to do that.

Tomorrow is the first official day of my new position at work.  My office was moved a week ago, and i’ve been in a somewhat awkward transition period for the last week.  I’m physically in my new location and going to meetings for the new group, but still actually working for the old team.  I can’t WAIT for the transition period to be over.  It is extremely stressful doing two jobs at once.

My new office rocks.  It has a window with a nice view and is close to the bathroom and break room.  The people are really nice, too - all sorts of people have dropped in to introduce themselves and say hello.  They didn’t do that in my old building.

I’ll miss the people of my old group, but i’m ready for a change.  Bring on the challenges!  Bring on the new!  I’m ready.

Today i had to tell my manager that i had applied for another position. It’s required that you inform your manager before you take any interviews, and i was notified that interviews were being set up.

I went about it in a totally haphazard way. I meant to prepare how to say it in my head. But suddenly, he was in my doorway talking about something else, and i found myself saying “i need to talk to you about something” and shutting the door.

When i told him i had applied elsewhere, his head fell into his hand. He said something about the deja vu he was having (we’ve had two others leave the group in the past 4-5 months). He said “If i tell you good luck, you’ll know it’s insincere, right?”

It was extremely uncomfortable.

I shouldn’t expect to be coddled, but i have to admit, i am spoiled. My previous two managers were both extremely supportive when it came to any kind of career decision, and were willing to brainstorm with me about what would be good for me. The perspective seemed to be that it was part of their job to help push birds out of the nest sometimes. How great is that? I think perhaps it is rare, and i was lucky to have it twice in a row. My point is that i was unprepared for my current manager’s reaction.

Oh well, it’s the business of changing jobs. And it’s not about me - he’s got his own stuff to worry about and yet another position to fill. I just really hope i get an official offer and don’t end up with egg on my face.

It is a heady feeling to get a phone call from someone saying “I want you to come work for me.”

Since i got the call, i’ve been trying to evaluate my current job and my level of happiness.  I’m also trying to guage the other job and my potential level of happiness there.

It’s impossible to know for sure.  I’ve been clinging to the comfort and familiarity of my current job, but when i sat down and did a Pros/Cons list, i’m not sure why i’m clinging to it so tightly.  On the really bad days, which are relatively few, but still exist, life SUCKS.  The bad days are the worst work days i’ve had.  Why am i clinging to that?

I am somewhat afraid of the change.  But i think it’s time to embrace it and take a chance on an exciting opportunity.