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It’s Friday afternoon, and the week is finally over.  I’m all packed and ready to go – I’m heading to the beach for the weekend, where i’ll meet some new friends and run a new race.  I kiss the boyfriend and the pupton goodbye and get on the road.

Usually when i’m driving on the highway, especially when the traffic is sparse, i’ll turn on the cruise control.  I think this is fairly common.  My speed is constant, and others’ speeds are fairly constant.  So i pass people, or others pass me.  Completely normal.

I was about 90 minutes into my drive when i noticed some headlights coming up behind me.  This is nothing unusual.  I’m pretty much alone on the road, but this guy’s just going faster than me.  Whatever.  He starts to pass me on the left, but when he pulls even with me he stops passing.  Now he’s right next to me and going the exact same speed.

I glance over and note it’s a red SUV.  I can’t see the driver.  He appears to be alone.  I’m quite sure it’s a “he”, for some reason.

I’m uncomfortable with this.  If we’re going to go the same speed, let’s just play follow the leader, ok?  I’ve done this before, just found someone to follow, and i’ve been the one who has been the leader also.  But driving side-by-side is freaking me out.

The speed limit is 70 and we’re going about 72.  First i decide to slow down a bit and let him pass me.  He slows down, too, and we’re still side-by-side.  So i think, OK, i’ll go faster – i nudge the cruise control up to about 74.  He keeps pace.  I nudge it up to 76.  He still keeps pace.  Then he flashes his brights.  I don’t know what that means.  I nudge it up to 78, and i still can’t pass him.  Now we’re going faster than i want, so i slow way back down to 70.  He flies ahead.

I let him go a little bit, then reset my cruise back to my normal cruising speed of 72.  I see him merge back into the right lane.  OK that’s better.

Before i know it, though, i’m coming up on him; he has slowed down again.  I switch to the left lane to pass him, thinking, OK he must have decided that was too fast.  As i’m passing, again he speeds up to about 75 as i’m passing, so i have to go even faster in order to pass him.  We travel for about a mile where he’s 3/4 car length behind me.  This is RIDICULOUS, and i’m getting pissed off.  I kick it up so i can really leave him behind me, and i do.

He flashes his lights at me again after i’m in front of him.  I still don’t know what this means.  When he comes up behind me yet again, and draws abreast with me, and flashes his lights, i have had it.  I don’t know what to do.  And then he swerved.  Ever so slightly,  but in my direction.  Maybe it was an accident.  But i was completely freaked.  I was convinced there was a crazy red SUV stalker that i hadn’t heard about, and if only i’d turn on my radio i would hear the news.  Except then i think to myself “in the movies, whenever people in cars get ambushed, they are always listening to the radio.”  So i don’t turn the radio on.

I slowed down a lot.  He slowed down a bit with me, but as i was now traveling significantly under the speed limit, he went ahead.  He was only a few hundred yards in front of me when i noticed my exit was coming up.  I made sure he was in front of me a good ways before i took my exit, lest he veer at the last second to follow me.  But it seems we have parted ways.

There is another vehicle behind me at this point.  He sticks to me like glue.  This is more normal – lots of cars are “followers” where they just want someone to follow.  He stays with me through several changes of the speed limit, always adjusting to my speed.  I have to admit, i was keeping my eye on him after the red SUV incident, but he was following at a normal distance most of the time.  And no weird flashing of lights.

Then i saw something weird ahead.  I was coming up quickly on an odd sight and at first i couldn’t tell what it was.  It turns out it was someone on a scooter driving like 30 mph.  The speed limit was 55 and i was going 60, so i quickly halved my pace.  The car behind me did too.  I was “stuck” in between the car behind me and the scooter; i was afraid to pass the scooter, because so often in those situations, the cars behind you will veer around you quickly.  But this car just stayed behind me while we went 30 mph.

Now i started to think that maybe the car behind me was the red SUV after all.  Who wouldn’t go around a car that was only going 30 mph in a 55 mph zone?  Why wasn’t he passing me?  Did a different car pass me before, and the red SUV followed me all this way?  I think i would have noticed, but i started to second guess myself.

When it became clear the car behind me was just going to follow me, i passed the scooter and sped back up, with my tail doing the same.  Within two miles i saw a Bojangles, and thought “ah, i actually am kind of hungry.”  And besides, it should get this guy off my back.  As i am turning in, i swear he starts to follow me, but then changes his mind.  I have no idea if the two police cars in the parking lot have anything to do with it, but am gratified to see them.  It was not the red SUV, at least.

Once inside of Bojangles, i realize this is a poor choice of restaurants since everything they have contains meat, and we are experimenting with a meatless diet.  But i finally find the one thing on their menu that was somewhat vegetarian and order an egg-and-cheese biscuit.  Waiting for my food, i can see the cook making my biscuit.  He isn’t wearing gloves.  I start to wonder if he is sick and if he is going to give me swine flu.  I wonder what county i am in and if they have a high incident of the swine flu here.  I try to rationalize that it is OK; after all, when i worked at McDonald’s 15 years ago i never wore gloves.  I convince myself it’s going to be okay.

I take my biscuit back into the car and get on my way.  No scary SUV’s are following me, for once.  I take a bite of my biscuit and discover that Bojangles food is not nearly as good without the Cajun chicken seasoning.  Then i have a flash of the cook scratching his greasy face with the back of his hand, and decide i’m not really hungry after all.

A few miles later, i stop to get gas.  It is the first gas station i have seen in awhile that is well-lit.  I have passed many poorly lit gas stations (you know, the kind that look like their pumps do not accept credit cards) and have been afraid to stop at them.  But this one looks OK.  I get out the nozzle and notice it is one of the annoying ones that you actually have to hold – it doesn’t click in place.  While i am stuck there holding my nozzle, a middle-aged and perhaps homeless woman comes by asking for money.  Ugh, i hate being in this position.  I just say no, still trapped at the nozzle, when i see a red SUV pull in next to me.  I kind of freak out, but quickly i notice that there is a family in this vehicle.  The dad looks at me funny when he gets out of the car, but that is probably because i was staring at his car oddly when he pulled in.

I go inside and i hear the maybe-homeless woman buying a lottery ticket.  I guess she got someone to give her some money.  I peruse for a few minutes and get a drink and a granola bar (after all, i am still hungry).  As i am headed to the counter to check out, she darts back into the store and cuts in front of me to buy another lottery ticket.  Since i didn’t give her any money, i figure i can at least let her have first place in line.

Nothing too strange happens for the rest of the drive, thankfully.  I arrive at the beach house where i see a car in the driveway.  I can see a 26.2 bumper sticker, so i’m pretty sure i’m in the right place.  I walk up to the front door and knock.  No answer.  I knock again.  Nothing.  I try to peek through the slits of the blinds, and i can barely see inside.  The lights are on, but the place does not seem to be inhabited.  No signs of luggage or any supplies on the tables.

I wonder, are they asleep?  It’s only 9…  and honestly i didn’t think Jeff was the going-to-bed-early type.  Maybe they are in the bedroom and just can’t hear me.  I walk up the steps to the backdoor, in the dark, and i feel completely like a burglar.  I knock again; maybe they will hear me from this side of the house.  No answer.

Am i in the right place?  I think so, but situations like this really make you wonder.  Maybe there’s ANOTHER house with the same number on ANOTHER road of the same name nearby, with ANOTHER car with a marathon bumper sticker on it… Yeah.

I haven’t called Lance to tell him i’m here safe, and since he insisted i do so, that’s the next thing i decide to do.  Maybe i can get him to pull up my email and find Jeff’s phone number for me.  Lance doesn’t answer.  I text him; no answer.  This is strange b/c i know he’s expecting my call.  I completely feel like i am in the twilight zone, and the only thing missing is creepy background music.

Then i remember that even though i was an idiot and didn’t bring Jeff’s phone number with me, thanks to my recent foray into twitter i can tweet at him directly.  Except i’m not sure if i know how to do that, actually.  But, i try to send him a tweet.

I unpack the car and bring all my stuff up next to the door, figuring i’ll hear from someone soon.  I don’t.  It probably hasn’t been that long since i got here, but i’m not sure what i should do.  I stare at my phone and check if i have adequate service.  My phone looks back at me, like “what?”

I load my shit back into the car, just in case this isn’t the right house, and go in search of a bar.  I decide everyone must be at dinner.  And not have their phones on.

I find a nice bar with a chatty bartender a couple of blocks away.  I text Lance again and tell him that i’m fine but still haven’t found anyone.  I work on my crossword puzzle.

At 10 pm the restaurant closes, but no one has called or texted.  The bartender takes pity on me and gives me another drink and says i can stay longer if i want, which was awful nice of her.

Finally at 10:15 Lance calls me.  He was at dinner and had his phone in his coat, so didn’t see my messages.  He’s glad i made it safely.  By this time i’m getting ready to head back to the house and see if the others are back yet.  When i get back to the house, i find it as i left it – no one answering the door.  I’m standing on the porch wondering what i’m supposed to do now when i finally get a tweet from Jeff saying “whoops just got this we’re on our way.”

And with that, i exhaled a little on the inside, because the world had gotten really really weird for a few hours, but was finally returning to normal.

Tags: life, running