Nov 12
Insincere Luck
Today i had to tell my manager that i had applied for another position. It’s required that you inform your manager before you take any interviews, and i was notified that interviews were being set up.
I went about it in a totally haphazard way. I meant to prepare how to say it in my head. But suddenly, he was in my doorway talking about something else, and i found myself saying “i need to talk to you about something” and shutting the door.
When i told him i had applied elsewhere, his head fell into his hand. He said something about the deja vu he was having (we’ve had two others leave the group in the past 4-5 months). He said “If i tell you good luck, you’ll know it’s insincere, right?”
It was extremely uncomfortable.
I shouldn’t expect to be coddled, but i have to admit, i am spoiled. My previous two managers were both extremely supportive when it came to any kind of career decision, and were willing to brainstorm with me about what would be good for me. The perspective seemed to be that it was part of their job to help push birds out of the nest sometimes. How great is that? I think perhaps it is rare, and i was lucky to have it twice in a row. My point is that i was unprepared for my current manager’s reaction.
Oh well, it’s the business of changing jobs. And it’s not about me - he’s got his own stuff to worry about and yet another position to fill. I just really hope i get an official offer and don’t end up with egg on my face.
November 12th, 2008 at 11:48 pm
Even though my experience has been similar to your supportive managers, I think it is still more common to have the reaction you recently received. Although I don’t know the actual circumstance of this encounter, I wonder if he was sincere in that you will be missed and he is losing someone valuable. Not all people know how to treat bittersweet news (fly birdie fly, but I don’t want you to go!) and his reaction may be, in fact, a way to show how he deems you as an employee.
I am keeping my fingers crossed for you. I don’t want to see you cleaning up any eggs…good luck!
November 13th, 2008 at 10:12 am
i pretty much have no respect for employing guilt in any situation, and the same applies here. a manager’s job is to put you in positions to succeed/get lucky and should revel in your moving onward and upward.
maybe it’s time to look in the mirror? “hmmm, my employees keep on jumping ship…”