A man who lived in a block of apartments thought it was raining and put
his hand out the window to check. As he did so a glass eye fell into his
hand. He looked up to see where it came from in time to see a young
woman looking down. “Is this yours?” he asked. She said, “Yes, could you
bring it up?” and the man agreed. On arrival she was profuse in her
thanks and offered the man a drink. As she was very attractive he
agreed. Shortly afterwards she said, “I’m about to have dinner. There’s
plenty, would you like to join me?” He readily accepted her offer and
both enjoyed a lovely meal. As the evening was drawing to a close the
lady said, “I’ve had a marvelous evening. Would you like to stay the
night?” The man hesitated then said, “Do you act like this with every
man you meet?” “No,” she replied, “You caught my eye.”
What do you call a one-legged woman?
“Eileen”
Two atoms are walking down the street and they run into each other.
One says to the other, “Are you all right?”
“No, I lost an electron.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I’m positive.”
There was a man who entered a local newspaper’s pun contest.
He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns
would win.
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.