AudreyPodrey.com

I have finally decided to put a price on what my free time is worth to me. I’ve hired a maid service.

I have mixed feelings about it. I’m able-bodied. I don’t have kids. I don’t work multiple jobs. I’m not an important person. I’m just a regular gal living with a regular guy. We have pretty busy lives, and between the two of us, we manage to keep the place pretty tidy. However it’s hard to keep up with 6 (soon to be rooms of hardwoods that have to be swept and mopped. Especially when dog hair is everywhere. Plus i haven’t been motivated to vacuum ever since it was my most-hated chore as a teenager. And you can forget dusting.

So while i could spend what little free time i have keeping up with housework, i’ve decided to outsource it. A team of 3 comes and tears the place up for 75 minutes every two weeks. I may never have to sweep or vacuum or clean the shower Ever Again. How cool is that?

It is perfectly acceptable to hire a pro to play bridge with you once in a while.

Your partner doesn’t become upset about people you played bridge with long ago.

It is perfectly acceptable to play bridge with a total stranger.

No one will ever tell you that you will go blind if you play bridge by yourself.

You can have a bridge calendar on your wall at the office, tell bridge jokes and invite co-workers to play bridge without being sued for harassment.

Nobody expects you to play bridge with the same partner for the rest of your life.

Nobody expects you to give up bridge if your partner loses interest in it.

The principle of “Fast Arrival” would not be regarded negatively.

If the partnership agrees on two over one, it wouldn’t be considered an orgy.

“To Audrey, who has always believed in dragons.”

That is what i wanted George R. R. Martin to write in my copy of A Feast For Crows, his latest novel in his series A Song of Ice and Fire. What he actually wrote was a mostly legible “To Audrey, all good wishes,” followed by a decidedly NOT legible autograph. It was crowded, the line was long, and i guess inscriptions longer than three words would have been too much to ask. I shouldn’t complain - from what i could tell, most fans only got the illegible signature.

GRRM is my most favorite author of my most favorite series. My awesome brother (well, one of them; i have two awesome brothers) for my birthday gave me a ticket to TriniCon, a fantasy literature and gaming conference in the Triangle. GRRM was the featured literary personality. I have never been into the RPG stuff, but apparently some people take it quite seriously! There were all sorts of costumes. Most prevalent were Star Wars characters, but the strangest were the gang of evil foxes.

Favorite part - listening to GRRM read from the hopefully-soon-to-be-released next book in his series, A Dance With Dragons.

Aug 1: Great computer deal sighted and ordered online from Dell.  Dell Dimension C521 if anyone cares.

Aug 3: New computer arrives.  It’s pretty.  It’s SKINNY.  (I will not know until later how much of a problem it is to be skinny if you are a computer).

I’m not a computer genius, especially when it comes to hardware.  But i am the default computer expert in my household.  So i’m in charge of getting the new computer up & running.  Fine - unplug here, plug in there…SHIT.

There is only one monitor connection on the new computer.  Wow - It never occurred to me that in this day and age a new computer would not be dual-monitor-enabled.  At my job, EVERYONE has more than one monitor.  We have two monitors at home - I thought this was normal.  But apparently the “good deal” computers you can find online are good deals b/c they have no perks.

At that time, i was woefully ignorant on the topic of video cards.  I did enough research to find out i needed a new card that had multiple monitor outputs.

Aug 4: Motored down to local computer supply store to buy a new video card.  Found a reasonably priced one with the exact two outputs i needed.

It didn’t fit.

Recall the aforementioned new, pretty and SKINNY computer.  Skinny it was, too skinny for this video card, which you could say was overweight.  So it’s back to the computer store to return it and get a skinny one.

Unfortunately, skinny is not easily obtainable and is not stocked at the local store.

Aug 5: Called Dell and purchased a new card from them.  I’m quite clear about my intentions for dual monitors.

Aug 9: New card arrives.  It’s skinny and fits into my slimline case.  But it only has one monitor connection.

Aug 11: Back to the local computer supply store armed with Dell’s Idiot Guide to Turning on Your Computer, because it features a handy picture of some kind of y-adapter that looks like it will fork into two monitor connections.  I’m told by the helpful Geek Squad that it would not do what i want, which is of course to extend the desktop over two monitors.  It would just display the same thing on both monitors.  How not useful.

Aug 12: On the phone with Dell.  I’m told this is an excellent video card and it can definitely do what i want it to do - all i need is a DMS-59 cable, which will split the signal and i will be able to extend my desktop accross two monitors.  He is confidant this will work.  I tell him what the Geek Squad told me, but he assures me this is right.  I ask him why i wasn’t told about this when i first ordered the card, and he has no response for that.

Aug 14: DMS-59 cable arrives and does not fit into any opening in my computer.  At all.

Aug 15: Call Dell again.  Another rep tells me i need a y-adapter cable that will split the picture in two.  Once again, i tell him what the Geek Squad told me on Aug 11.  The Dell rep assured me this solution would work.  I ask why i was not advised about the need for this cable when i bought the video card.  No satisfactory response.

Aug 21: New cable arrives - plugged it in.  One monitor actually does work.  Attempting to change display settings does not work.  Called Dell yet again.  The tech takes over my computer for TWO HOURS and at 1:30 in the morning finally says, “well, the problem you see is that your video card does not support a dual monitor display.”

I was irate.  After everything i’ve been told, after all the reassurances, after you just spent TWO HOURS with me, you’re going to offhandedly say “of course this won’t work - you need a better video card”?!?

Aug 22: Called Dell Sales to get info on how to return the piece of shit video card they sold me.  They did agree to refund me completely, including shipping.  At least they got that right.

Searched the web for what i now knew i needed: a low-profile dual-DVI PCI-E x1 card.  Found one for a reasonable price.

Aug 24: New card arrives.  It is exactly what i expected, installation is easy, and both monitors work.

What I Learned:
1. A lot about video cards.
2. Dell customer service is polite, but extremely annoying and incompetent; and all of them are Indians, about half of whom do not speak clear or articulate English.
3. If you know what you need, you can solve your own problems w/o involving incompetent customer service reps.
4. It’s hard to know what you need if you don’t have the correct terminology.  Here, the key word was “low-profile” - once i learned that meant “skinny” i was set and could find the card i needed on my own.  But finding the right information without that phrase was difficult.
5. Computer hardware isn’t that scary.

A man who lived in a block of apartments thought it was raining and put
his hand out the window to check. As he did so a glass eye fell into his
hand. He looked up to see where it came from in time to see a young
woman looking down. “Is this yours?” he asked. She said, “Yes, could you
bring it up?” and the man agreed. On arrival she was profuse in her
thanks and offered the man a drink. As she was very attractive he
agreed. Shortly afterwards she said, “I’m about to have dinner. There’s
plenty, would you like to join me?” He readily accepted her offer and
both enjoyed a lovely meal. As the evening was drawing to a close the
lady said, “I’ve had a marvelous evening. Would you like to stay the
night?” The man hesitated then said, “Do you act like this with every
man you meet?” “No,” she replied, “You caught my eye.”

What do you call a one-legged woman?
“Eileen”

Two atoms are walking down the street and they run into each other.
One says to the other, “Are you all right?”
“No, I lost an electron.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I’m positive.”

There was a man who entered a local newspaper’s pun contest.
He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns
would win.
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

Nope, 8 am isn’t early enough to beat the heat. My run this morning was hot hot. I made it though, yay me! It’s going to be a long 10 weeks though. I can’t imagine how i’m going to run 3.25 times the distance i ran this morning.

Looking forward to fall.

Playing in the local duplicate game with a slightly inebriated partner, we are having a pretty poor game.  However, this hand made it all worth it.  I have a declarer play problem with:

Axx
Q9xx
Kx
AQxx

KJ942
A
QJT6
J95

My RHO had overcalled 1H (dummy opened 1C playing weak NTs), and we eventually landed in 4S.  LHO leads the heart deuce.

Contract: 4S
Lead: 2H
T1: 2H 4H JH AH

4S is a normal place to be on these cards, so i need to go for overtricks if they’re there.  I have to lose a diamond and maybe a trump and maybe a club.  It looks like LHO has three hearts and did not raise his partner, so he can’t have much.

First things first, pull trumps.  I start with a spade to the A and another to the J, which holds and everyone follows.  Great - no trump losers.  I pull the last trump and play a diamond to the K.  RHO wins and continues with a diamond.

If the KC is offside, i’ll just concede a trick and claim, but if it’s not, is there a layout for me to obtain 3 club tricks?  I’m considering all this when i realize that RHO played the JH at trick one.  He doesn’t have the T.

I finesse the QC and it wins.  Oh this is going to be cool.  Play the QH, RHO covers, and ruff, transferring the heart guard to LHO.  Now play off my 2 remaining diamonds and my last trump and watch LHO squirm as he is squeezed in hearts and clubs.  He finally pitches a club, i throw the 9H and play a club to the A, dropping his K, and a club back to the good J.  Making 6.

I’ve seen problem hands involving transfer squeezes, heard a few stories from others, and perhaps missed one or two along the way.  But this was my first one actually executed at the table.

I’ve committed to it, i’m going to do it, and the training is right around the corner (literally, it starts next week).  10 weeks of hard work.  At the end, a 13.1 mile run.  Yikes.

The training schedule i have is basically
running: 3 times per week
cross training: 1-2 times per week (walking, swimming, cardio machines)
weights: 1-2 times per week.

I have one long run each week on Saturdays, and each week the mileage increases, like so:
Week 1: 5 miles
Week 2: 6 miles
Week 3: 7 miles
Week 4: 8 miles
Week 5: 5 miles
Week 6: 10 miles
Week 7: 6 miles
Week 8: 11 miles
Week 9: 7 miles
Week 10: 13.1 mile RACE

I’m going to try to be consistent with blogging about the training, among other things if i think of them.  They say that being accountable to someone, even an anonymous, possibly non-existant audience, helps with the motivation.  Can’t hurt.

http://www.cityofoaksmarathon.com/